Voiced by David Faustino.
- Oh my goard, I'm so fuckin' bored!
- Yeah, but, you're just a fucking idiot, Ultra Richard. I'm Jack Krak!
- I just wanted to say....FUCK YOU!!! I'm not a shitty friend, YOU ARE! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
- My brain is bored!
- So what the shitfuck you doin'? Somethin gay?
- JUST PUNCH THE LITTLE BITCH!
- 'Cause Jack Krak...is the motherfucker!
- From now on, we can just piss 'n' shit on this guy! MEATBALLS!!!
- I don't care about that shit, you asshole!
- FLARKIN' PUT THAT SHIT IN MY GODDAMN MOOOUUTHHHH!!!!!!!!!1